Cerberus Funds
by denythesavior
Summary: Miranda's not happy with Faylinn's excessive spending habits. She confronts the younger Shepard sister, but Faylinn isn't about to let Miranda's questions off easy. Rated M for Young!Shep's dirty mouth. Very mildly AU.


"Major Shepard."

The tone is cold - ice edged with lace and steel.

…and _fuck_ if it doesn't cause a flare of sharp amusement.

Faylinn pauses in her quest to obtain coffee, and turns sharply on her heel to face the XO of the Normandy. "Yes, Miranda?" Her own tone is dry, uninterested - she won't throw any fucks into _that_ particular jar. "Something you need?"

"You do realize that Cerberus funds aren't unlimited, yes? Because your personal bill is starting to hint otherwise." Sarcastic little bitch that she is, Miranda can't hold a candle to Faylinn.

"Oh, really? You're sure? I've been under the impression that the Illusive Man has a limitless credit chit stuck up his ass that he whips out every chance he gets."

Miranda's face begins to flush a light pink, and Faylinn is almost proud that the other woman doesn't stutter. The ice queen has quite a bit of control - though Faylinn is _fire_ and she knows _just_ how to make that ice _melt_.

"Your spending habits are out of line. I took the liberty to do a bit of tracking...just to see where all of Cerberus's funds are going."

Faylinn raises an eyebrow, green eyes lighting up with a familiar kind of anger. "You must _really_ want to test out those giant airbags on your chest with one of my charges. What the fuck gives you a right to snoop around in my shit?" With every word, she takes a step closer, until she's less than a foot away from the other woman, body radiating suppressed biotics.

"I have the right when you begin to jeopardize the mission. You-"

"Come on, all I buy is cheap turian porn and mods for my Carnifex. I don't spend all _that_ much." She's waiting - if Miranda had managed to trace that _other_ bit of spending...

"You've wired 25,000 credits to KSF six times thus far."

_Dammit, I knew I hadn't covered my tracks well enough. Should've asked Kasumi for help._

"So?" The word comes out lazily, almost as if she's brushing the other woman aside.

"So," Miranda hisses furiously, "Cerberus doesn't want to waste its resources on alien issues that will never be resolved."

Faylinn grows still, blood boiling past flame into _lava_. She's mildly aware of Jack watching from the mess and Garrus pausing just outside of the battery, so she keeps her face as smooth as possible and stalks just that _little bit_ closer until she's right at Miranda's ear.

"You stuck-up, holier-than-thou _bitch_. Cerberus might be for the good of humanity, but it's about time you fuckers see outside of your little anti-alien box. I donated to the KSF because I don't look at people and see _aliens_. I look at people and see _people_. I donated to the Shakespearean Elcor Cast, because fuck if I don't love watching those guys. I fucking donated to help fund hanar classes that teach those little bitches not to be uppity about how others speak. I even have some creds saved away to someday adopt a motherfucking krogan, because _fuck biology_ I can't _actually_ have a baby with the man I love." She pauses for a beat, and then says in an even lower voice. "My sister helped you with _your_ sister out of the goodness of her heart. I'd suggest you try and find some of that in your own."

As Faylinn pulls away, she casts a cheeky wink to Jack - who looks vaguely amused - and practically skips towards where Garrus is still standing. As an afterthought, she turns to look back at the woman and say one last thing.

"Oh, and if you tell my sister or her boyfriend that I donated to the Keprals Syndrome Foundation, I'll tear out your heart and find that goodness myself."

* * *

**HEY GUYS. This is just a little amusing oneshot that I was struck with the notion to write. Faylinn Shepard is the younger sister. The older sister is the one who went and died and came back and whatnot. They're actually from a co-written fanfiction between myself and my best friend, but I figured just Faylinn would be okay to post. 8D SO YEAH I hope you all enjoyed. ;D**


End file.
